Sticky fingers

I’ve made this blog to collect everything about practical music. I’ve mirrored this post from my personal blog, tumblr.com/andariel-axe. There you will find photos (some NSFW) of things that interest or entertain me. 

Here you’ll find blogging about my personal relationship with music (I’m less of a ponce than you think, I promise), things I find interesting or entertaining and (hopefully) a charting of milestones I’ve reached. Which will probably be just what song I’ve managed to play. Which will probably be what video game theme I’ve managed to massacre :P. And that’s the first and last pointless self-criticism that’s going to be here. I’m out of shape, my technique is terrible, I’ve not played regularly in 5 years. This is something I hope to change. 

So yesterday I walked into a violin shop for the first time in roughly ten years. 

My instrument is 9 years old now, at a glance they could see a lot was wrong with it, and overall it’s a cheap instrument. I paid some money to get the soundpost and bridge readjusted. Just a little more than double that would’ve gotten me a new instrument. 

The guy doing it was incredibly friendly, plays fiddle music for fun, amongst other instruments. Talked to him about how he learns music, self-teaching through watching and listening, that’s how most fiddle playing worked, he said. 

He asked what style I intended to play, getting back into it. I said I didn’t know. Off the top of my head, aside from ‘fiddle’ and ‘classical’ I’m really not sure. 

I haven’t really played in earnest for years. I had private tuition up til about age 16, from age 6. I was never all that good, I still exaggerate what level I got up to when in accomplished company…I did my grade 1 and grade 3 AMEB exam, and was studying for grade 5 when I ceased tuition. I could have sat grade 5 comfortably at my best, I think. 

I have huge performance anxiety and fear of being judged. And I hate myself for wasting good opportunities/teachers when I was younger. I was petrified of trying. Of sounding bad. Of the long road to getting better. 

I’m still scared of it, but not nearly as much. I’m going to keep practising and playing with this crappy instrument and I’m going to buy myself a better one, I think. Maybe even an electrical one as well, because I think it’d be great fun. I want to earn that though. 

Do you have that thing, that thing that you have to do, because you love it?Because you can’t not do it? I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to repress that thing. Perhaps not That Thing, just a thing. I’ve no delusions of being able to be a musical genius, or suddenly having it all click…but I want to play. I want to sound good by myself. I want to play with others, not just sitting at the back of an orchestra, but actually contributing something. I want to bash away at keyboard as well, and anything else I can get my hands on. And I can. And I will. Because I’m an adult who wants to make music. 

As for where I’m at now…I’m trying so hard not to fall into technique that will cause my neck pain, and I’m trying to get my head around songs that I like listening to, tv themes and pop songs and stuff. And I’m going to try playing along to things. I was taught ‘classically’ but truly never got that far with it. It’ll be interesting to see how far I can get this way. :3